Not sure what the ultimate purpose of a testimony is. Is it to glorify God for coming to our aid, healing us and manifest in near-miraculous interventions?
Is it a witness to His power and love when we experience it in our lives? If so, what about all those times when our prayer seems unanswered? Do we have testimonies in moments of unfulfilled expectations?
I suppose every moment, good or bad, can be a testimony of our heart and our faith. On how He is alive in us no matter the circumstances. That we are grateful in moments of favor, but also with praise when in trial.
Some of the most powerful testimonies of our faith (and His faith) is during the darkest hours, and how we cling to his faithfulness not to forsake us, but will lift us up. That in moments of great loss He will restore to us sevenfolds.
Tonight I don't want to talk about all the goodness God had bestowed upon my life, although there have been so much. The greatest personal miracle in my life has already been demonstrated in His forgiving love, lifting the lamp searching the distance for my return, and unconditionally accepting this great sinner back into his bosom as a righteous son.
And that is the subject of my testimony tonight -- sin.
Brothers and sisters in my fellowship all know that I don't like to talk about sin -- especially the verb form in thoughts and behavior because it had already been judged and punished on the cross and on the body of Jesus Christ. All I seem to talk about is God's infinite grace, and how it can transform a sinner completely from the inside, from the heart.
But without the reality of sin there is no need for grace.
Even before I came back to the Lord, sin (and the concepts of good and evil) has always been heavy on my mind. Unlike many new believers who testify that they previously thought of themselves as pretty decent people, I was fully aware of my sinful nature.
Even without God personally guiding my life, there was an instinctual struggle between my desire of the flesh and yearning for purity and holiness. I detested so much of my finding enjoyment in many worldly pleasures, and a voice haunts me whenever I resolve to be good and do right.
Truly as Paul said in Romans 7:19, "For the good that I will [to do], I do not do; but the evil I will not [to do], that I practice." That was me, a walking contradiction. And it was because this self-perceived weakness and sinfulness that I kept hiding from His bright light -- as Adam did when He did not obey God's words.
Thought I always felt the presence of God, I escaped to philosophy to find justification and meaning for my life, and the ever-present contradiction. I struggled through intellectual pursuit to make sense of my existence. As a few of the brothers are studying now on the "meaning of a Christian life" from the book, and trying to find purpose beyond just a rat race.
Looking back, I found that with all the fancy intellectual arguments and logic, no matter which branch of philosophy, whether on premise of man is good or evil, pragmatic or idealistic, altruistic or selfish, self-aggrandizing or denying..., they all fall short on account of two factors: the limitation of self and death.
What produces meaning is relationships or identity, and what validates meaning is continuity. There is purpose in our worldly relationships, but the ultimate meaning of our existence must come from a relationship with a greater being that is also intimate. What validates our existence as valuable and purposeful is an eternal life.
Without these two important gateways to break through, our search for meaning ultimately results in self-deception or the acceptance of total hopelessness.
On the cross, Jesus gave us both a relationship with Him and eternal life. In Him is our meaning for existing; for Him is the reason we live on this earth. There is now unshakable purpose to life when it is no longer about us, but about Christ; no longer about this life, but the one forever in heaven.
By His grace I am no longer a prisoner of sin, but of His righteousness. And my sinful nature no longer has power over me because the blood of Christ has washed me clean.
I want to share this quote by Jack Welch. Jack is the former CEO of GE, who made the company into a business giant with record profits. He wrote many books about how to be successful in both business and management. He helped a lot of people with both his wisdom and money. In his latest book, "Winning," there was a question asked of him, "Do you think you will go to heaven?" It was an unusual question, and he answered in the book this way, "As for heaven, who knows? I am sure not perfect. But if there are any points given out for caring about people and giving life all you've got, then I suppose I have a shot."
What do you think of this statement? How many feels what he says is nice, and makes sense?
Keep in mind, Jack Welch is a catholic.
By any measure, Mr. Wesch is someone who accomplished so much and worthy of admiration. But even he is not sure if will get into heaven. How many of you feel the same way about your place in heaven?
Ask anyone at a street corner, doens't matter if it is a believer or unbeliever, the answer to that question is most like similar -- to be a good person, do good things, and help others.
For a unbeliever, it is understandable; but for brothers and sisters in Christ, the true gospel of grace must be made crystal clear that our eternal life with Christ is already accomplished on the cross two thousand years ago by His death, burial and resurrection. All our sins have been washed away, and we will never be judged again for our behaviors but our faith in Him who is ever faithful. The only sin that truly matters now is the sin of unbelief. Our sinful nature has no chance when our hearts are filled with the grace of God and the holy spirit.
As for me, two years ago, we could be considered very successful in our investments. We bought many properties, and the cash flow was enough to support a very comfortable life. My outside seems very bright, but the soul inside was living in darkness.
Today, the financial storm has hit us very hard, and there seems to be no end in sight. We have to supplement a lot of the negatives in properties that dropped substantially in value and income. It is a very dark time, but my soul is joyful and sings of God's glory. Why? Because I have the greatest treasure one can have -- a relationship with Jesus Christ and an eternal life in heaven. I hope you feel the same way as a fellow believer, not matter your circumstance, your health or age.
This life is but an illusion, keep our eyes on the cross and know that our place in heaven is assured.
wisdom,
made whole
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